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I have had the unpleasant experience of witnessing four deaths within the last few months. These may be people of no direct relation to me but it has been an opportunity to examine the pain of letting go since all these deaths were within my circle of connection. One among the deaths was an accident of a work colleague, another was the father of a favourite work colleague, the third was a friend’s grandfather and the last of all happened about a week ago, the father of a lovely friend.
The stories are hard to tell since the memories may still be fresh in the minds of these grieving friends but the lessons I think, are what we must gleam as we share in their tears with sorrow. It is particularly hard for me to write this article because of the harm these deaths have caused in some of these families in question.
I do not seek to find answers to questions like: Why we must let go or how we even let go or things like the moral integrity of God as it were to He taking away. Honestly, I only write to empathize with the pain and strength of these friend who must learn to let go, perhaps letting go the hardest possible way.
The theme of death and letting go was one of my first inspirations when I found my ink to write as a young poet. It has always been a mystery on my mind. The quote of John Dryden in his most notable book, Aureng-Zebe, spells what I consider the problem of letting go. The problem of letting go is not in the act of letting go in itself but the pain mostly resides outside of the act itself:
“Death, in itself, is nothing; but we fear,
To be we know not what, we know not where.” – JOHN DRYDEN, Aureng-Zebe
All that it is to let go is to let go fear! Fear, a four lettered word which manifests itself in myriad forms and inflict people universally with pains. Whether it is the circumstance of death of a loved one, letting go a not so fruitful relationships, a career, a habit or any such things as may be considered as a loss. The real question of these circumstances is the single thought of what shall become of us when we let go. What if we never become better, or never find someone that good, or such things as fear will have us entertain, these are the fears that become the fangs that bites and hurts.
I write of the fear of the unknown, the single fear we all have and must confront if we must live life. I share the idea of, “we must overcome“, to let go fear, especially of the unknown. In latter post we may consider how and why but let us establish the idea to let go. Let us rally around it and equally advocate for it, for I have witnessed many people becoming observers of life as the adventure and beauty of life pass them by because of fear. They have restricted grace and purpose because of fear of the unknown.
May the friends whose story inspired this have the strength to really let go, to remember the loss with the lessons and not the pain and may we all learn to live until we must embrace what we shall not be afraid of: THE UNKNOWN!